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Instead is presented as being bringing freedom of choice when really it is only about the freedom to choose their assumptions or be judged immoral or inferior etc. And the really alarming part is it is not seen that way. We have been bombarded so strongly with these ideals that they are just a given for many now, an assumption of truth. And so many come from this place, this underlying "sure" assumption of these beliefs being the moral high ground of truth and themselves being "liberated and open minded and tolerant" because of that, an assumption and attitude they don't even often realize they present or how much it harms many who do not fit this assumed mold who are definitely not being "tolerated" but rather unspokenly judged.
So Pat, when you were asking me "if judgment is so hurtful to a particular type of submissive woman who isn't able to shake off society's supposed judgment of her for being vulnerable and needing protection, then why are so many of the self same women so quick to hand down universal statements about how men and women are supposed to be?", that is why. It is a defense, and I think a very understandable one. They are being presented with a subtle gospel truth assumption, not just from a few but from so many all around them, that tells them almost everything about them is inferior, and worse yet takes those assumptions as a given. And then for some reason people are shocked when those attacked this way respond with assumptions of their own.
I don't think the back and forth like that is the most healing way to be, and I myself am really looking at things here as I was expressing in my last post. But I can still definitely understand why it happens. And that the solution is not to attack the attacked ones back again in a circle but rather for some deeper solution to be found.
Might does not make right. Just because the more PC/dragon slayer/resistant etc views have been bombarding us everywhere and so many have accepted them as the way we all should be to be worth anything, that does not mean that they are just true. Yet they are subtly presented that way, and it is when one is NOT these things is when one notices that, those that fit with these things well enough do not notice the judgement or the harm. And so it should not be a surprise when those that are deeply harmed by these views, these views that are so subtly accepted as truth and presented as such often without the a person even realizing it many times, it should not be a surprise when those harmed by this hidden attack have a defensive response. A "ten commandments" response. Not that that is the answer to heal this. But I definitely do understand why it happens, and that it is no more something to criticise than the judgements in the first place. Saying these judgements are imagined or irrelevant just adds insult to injury. I feel it is only in admitting the impact that these things really do have that we are going to be able to heal any of this stuff in the long run.
